Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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