Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
