when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
