So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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