just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
