whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
