Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
