i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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