Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize