Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
