i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm jealous of your bromance
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
