did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize