he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
