She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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