wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
