She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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