My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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