just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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