Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
