Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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