plz talk dirty to me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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