I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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