my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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