I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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