Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
