Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
