How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
