well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
