What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
