You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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