Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
