Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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