sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
