just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
