Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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