Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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