"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
