WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
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I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?