So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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