Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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