My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize