I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
