I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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