Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
