bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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