That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
