Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
