i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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