I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
