Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize