hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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