i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
