I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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