New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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