Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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