Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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