recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
where are my eyebrows?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
