just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
