need another drink. this is the easiest way
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
