You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
