the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
