It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
