I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
