Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
